Shoot him dead, Shinsou!
...
What is that? Don't have a joke for me, Xellos-san? Please do try your best, this is no time to be losing your sense of humor.
"You know, I've tried everything with you. I didn't want it to come to this. First I attempted to dissuade you, to discourage you from ever coming back here. That method bore no fruit. Then, I tried taking away your platform, but yet again you made a mockery out of me and my plans by seeing trough them instantly."
But maybe the solution was staring me in the face this whole time and I just didn't realize it.
"Or maybe I have a soft spot for our little games and secretly just never wanted them to end. Sadly, all good things inevitably do."
...
But not this way!
...
...
I can't say I understand... You've got me right where you want me for once. What are you hesitating for? Don't you want to deliver the finishing blow?
It would be a bitter, unsatisfying victory if I just snuffed your life out. And classless, too.
Besides, I'm not letting you off the hook that easily.
Are you saying you're going to make me suffer before you kill me? That's not terribly original of you.
You are not wrong.
But this is!
...
What... ?
"Her lips are moving but I can't hear her speak. What have you done to them?!"
I figured there was a much better way to cause you distress than to simply take your life without having a bit of fun first. But first things first...
It's time for me to have some fun...
Meeting #73 Review!
So this is what it's like to host, huh? Well, I guess your audience can't hear me right now Xellos-san, but you certainly can! So let's get started, shall we?
I don't ever attend your pathetic meetings, but from what this poor souls' memory tells me, you folk played a little game last time, did you not? That's right, you were split up into teams of three and had to navigate a labyrinth, facing challenges and overcoming obstacles along your way! Challenges such as being given a headset and having to read the other person's lips with loud music blaring in your ears, with the objective of making out what they said. Most of you earthly weaklings did rather well for lowly beings such as yourselves, but that's not saying much. I bet you wished you had my mind-reading capabilities, they could've come in handy earlier now couldn't they? After all, if you're not cheating, you're no trying.
Eh? Why is everyone wondering how I suddenly have mind-reading abilities? Mind your own damn business!
Afterwards you vermin watched some anime entitled "Suisei_no_Gargantia".
Hey, I've actually seen this one! You know how usually in fiction they quickly do away with all of the communication barriers that would arise if two people from different planets met by just introducing some doohickey contraption that will translate any language for you in the known universe? And even if that planet has yet been unexplored and it's a first contact scenario, said device will just analyze their language patterns and before you know it, our hero is able to communicate with his heroine and those language barriers are torn down? Yep, for once that doesn't happen!
... What DOES happen is that instead of a device, it's his giant-ass robot that analyzes the main heroine's language patterns and before he knows it, our hero can communicate with his heroine by proxy trough his own personal behemoth of a mecha.
*sigh*
But all jokes, aside, these lowlife mongrels watched two episodes and seem to have enjoyed themselves, so what bad is to come out of you giving it a try, eh?
Class is dismissed!
It's only me, remember?
Oh, silly me, you're right. And I guess it IS about time I told you what happened to them, right?
"Don't expect them to be too talkative. They might try to utter a few sounds, but their fear will deter them from wanting to try and speak once they realize what has happened to them. Their higher cognitive functions are not operational anymore, they act mostly based on instinct. Very fitting for such primitives, don't you think? Trying to talk to them yourself is useless. just as you can't hear them, they can't hear you. The only ones who can help them now are each other. I wouldn't bet on them finding themselves and re-gaining their essence trough their own willful efforts, though. These ARE humans we're talking about."
True, I WAS going to kill you and be done with it not just too long ago, but then I realized there's no fun to be had in that. More importantly however, something else had dawned on me.
I don't want the job of a dead man.
With Xellos gravely injured and unable to help his audience, how will the humans get out of this predicament?
Do they really know each other well enough on a basal level to help each other find themselves and recover their stolen essence? Or are they forever lost to the darkness?
And who the hell am I if it was Xellos who has been narrating this show the whole time? Find out the answers to these questions and more today!
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